I’m a psychologist, not a police officer.
That is, until I met the young woman in the video.
I met her when she was in the hospital, recovering from a heart attack.
As the young man stood on the balcony, she stood in the corner with a large white box with a white bandage around her head.
The woman was lying on a stretcher.
I asked her if she had a pulse and if she needed help.
She answered, “I’m fine.”
I asked, “How are you?”
She replied, “No one can help me.”
I continued to ask her.
When she continued to answer no, I stopped and asked, “[What is?]?”
She said, “Just being here.”
I told her that this was how I had always felt.
It was how the trauma that had caused me to become the person I am today had affected me.
I was in shock.
My mind was spinning.
I realized that I was the only person in the room.
This is what I had done to her.
My wife, who is a psychologist herself, and her mother were standing beside me.
They were shocked.
They looked at each other and said, “[This is] not right.
This does not happen to you.
This cannot happen to us.”
She and I started crying.
I told them that I loved them.
I also told them, “Please tell my wife that I love her.”
It was a moment of clarity for us.
My husband, who was also a psychologist at the time, said, “…this is how I feel when someone in my family tells me they’re broken.”
We are broken, and we need to fix ourselves.
It took time, but eventually, I became a better man and a better cop.
The video of the young lady’s recovery is still a vivid reminder of how I saw the world, but my family’s words also helped me change.
We realized that we could never truly love someone else until we love ourselves.
In this video, we saw her struggle with grief and depression.
She needed someone to talk to about her trauma, and I wanted to help.
I wanted my wife and my daughter to know that I could never let my daughter down.
I needed to know she could never be the person she was created to be.
I did my best to help the woman who had so many scars to heal, and now, I am glad that I have.
The next day, I went to the hospital to meet her.
She was in a lot of pain.
She had a big bandage on her head that was covering up her mouth.
She looked at me and said “I don’t like the way you’re looking at me.”
She was angry.
She said she felt as though the world had changed since she was a child.
She wanted to change the world for the better.
It’s my hope that this video can give hope to other victims of trauma and to people who have been abused by family members or loved ones.
The first time I met my wife was when we met at my brother-in-law’s funeral.
We were sitting at the bar and drinking beer.
He was a former Marine who died in the Iraq war, and the next day I told my wife, “You are going to be the first person I see when I get out of this hospital.”
I was devastated by his death.
I couldn’t stop crying, and she didn’t understand.
We still talked every day.
We talked about our marriage, our life together, and our kids.
She didn’t know what to do with herself.
She became a woman and a mother for the first time in her life.
I became the father figure to my wife.
I started taking care of her and our children.
I saw her through her tears and I understood why she felt that way.
I could see that she was broken and that she needed to fix herself.
I knew that this would never change.
The day I met me, I felt a different sense of self.
I felt as if I was back in my own body, my own mind, and my own life.
It had changed me.
It made me realize that I can’t ever truly love anyone until I love myself.
I never imagined it would happen to me.
That day, my wife told me, “This is what it’s like to be a woman.”
The next time I had a child, I was shocked.
I thought, “Why did you marry me?”
I had never thought that she would do something like this to me, but I had to believe that she really wanted to do this to her child.
I didn’t want to believe it myself.
My heart sank, but we worked through it together.
The rest of my life was spent trying to fix the damage that I had caused her.
I would go back and look at the video, and when I did, I would think, “Well, what is