How to change your relationship with your therapist

Are you the one that is constantly complaining about your therapist?

Or is it you? 

Dr. Sarah Stahl and Dr. Jennifer Reiman are two of the leading psychotherapists in the country and have done research into the subject for years. 

Now, they are bringing that knowledge to the masses with their new book, The Therapist, a guide to the healthiest way to heal.

“The first time we met we had never met,” Stahl said in an interview with The Huffington Posts.

“So we decided we’d do a quick google search for the most popular therapist, and we found that we’d just met a therapist from the same field.

And we wanted to know what that therapist was doing.

So we sat down with him and asked him questions.

And he said, ‘Well, you know, you are a therapist.’

So that was a huge, huge step for me.” 

I feel like I’m always being asked the same questions, Stahl explained.

“And I feel like if I have something to say, I should be able to say it.

And I can’t say anything because I’m so anxious to say anything.” 

It’s not that therapists don’t want to hear from their patients, Stahls point out, but it’s important for them to know how to respond in a way that is both honest and helpful. 

“I know there are a lot of people that are frustrated that I don’t have any research on the topic of how to help people, because that would help,” she said.

“It’s like, ‘OK, so, I’m a therapist, so why can’t I say that?’

Because the people who are not therapists aren’t getting any help.” 

For Stahl, the book is a way to give her voice to the millions of people suffering with anxiety and depression.

“I’m just the one person that is doing it,” she says.

“I have this incredible amount of experience and expertise in my field, and I have so much more to say about this.”

She is not alone in her quest to help others.

Dr. Sarah Voss of the University of New Mexico has been practicing in the field for over 20 years.

“In the field of psychology, we have so many people who have gone through this,” she told HuffPost.

“There are people who do it with their spouse, there are people doing it with people they know from their life, there’s someone who’s doing it for themselves.

And it just seems like there’s a lot to learn.”

Voss says that there are many people that have the same goals as her.

“My goal is to help other people, and the best way to help is to find the way that will be helpful to you,” she explained.

Voss’ personal experience is that it takes a lot more than a therapist to help a client. 

Voss found a therapist who cared for her for about eight months.

“The first six months were hard,” she recalled.

“You’re not being treated for anxiety or depression or anything like that.

And then, at the end of that, it’s just like, OK, here we are.”

Vox Media Editor Matt O’Brien contributed to this report.